Wednesday, 26 June 2013
HOW I LOST MY VIRGINITY
HOW I LOST MY VIRGINITY
by Ben
I have told the story of how I lost my virginity before and I hate to admit but it’s pretty epic although not in a good way. So I figure I’d share it with you all today in the attempt to further embarrass myself with this blog. It’s all for your amusement, really. WARNING: It’s pretty gross. Seriously.
I was a late bloomer so this was in university I had started dating this girl that I really liked. Things were progressing nicely. We had gotten physical the last few times we saw each other.
Then that fateful night, we were messing around in her bed. The clothes were off. Now I have to say up until this point I hadn’t had that much experience with a naked woman. Let’s just say you could count the number on your fingers- if eight of them had been blown off by a firecracker accident. And the smell of a woman… down there was new to me. This particular night, my girlfriend smelled a bit… different.
I didn’t really think too much about it. After all, I was in bed with a naked girl. I had more important things to worry about. Things continued. She was on top of me and naughty bits were coming closer… all of a sudden… we were having sex!
I could hardly believe it myself. I didn’t say anything because I thought it would snap her out of whatever trance she must’ve fallen in to let me put my penis inside her. So there we were. Having sex.
It felt good. Of course it did. It was sex. The Holy Grail of, well, life. But I have to say that it felt a bit strange. I thought it would feel smoother or silkier. Perhaps I had grown too accustomed to Jergens.
When it was over, we laid in bed. The smell had gotten stronger but it was the elephant in the room we didn’t talk about. “Let’s go see a late movie,” she suggested and so we did.
At the movie theater, we sat in darkness and by god I swear I could still smell her. With her underwear and pants on, in an air conditioned theater, I could still smell her. But still we said nothing.
We got back to her place and finally I had to ask her about it. I tried to do so in the most gentle way as possible. She didn’t get mad. She did look slightly concerned as she told me she smelled it too. “Is that normal?” I asked. “What do you think it could be?” But she just shrugged her shoulders.
The next day I went to classes and didn’t think much about it. I did walk around high-fiving all my friends but other than that, went about my day.
Later at night she called me.
“I think I left… a tampon,” she said.
“Left a tampon? Where? In your apartment?” I asked.
“No… In me.”
This sounded a little weird to me but I had heard of this stuff happening. “You can’t get it out?”
“No. Well, I can’t remember if I did or not.”
“You can’t remember if you left a tampon in you?”
“No. It was awhile ago.”
Now my head was spinning. “How long ago?”
“A few weeks.”
I almost fainted but somehow I managed to stay on my feet. “Listen, either you did or you didn’t leave a tampon up there. You would have remembered taking it out or not taking it out.”
“I guess I did, then.”
“Why didn’t you do something about it??”
“I don’t like going to the gynecologist.”
I face palmed. “Well, you’ve got to go! Tomorrow! That’s fucking dangerous!”
“I know.” Then she hung up the phone.
It all hit me at that point. When we had sex there was a tampon inside her. Along with three week old… well you get the picture. That was the smell. That meaty, minerally smell.
All that aside, she could’ve got toxic shock syndrome. All she ended up with was a pretty nasty UI infection. I was spared anything thankfully.
So that’s the story of how I lost my virginity. The actual losing it wasn’t so bad. Just what I found out afterwards.
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What's Your Face Shape?
What's Your
Face Shape?
When shopping for sunglasses or trying a new hairstyle, you need to
consider your face shape to look your best. The SheKnows Beauty &
Style Divas have put together an assortment of sensational tips and
tricks for determining your face shape and finding the best styles for
you.
What's your face shape?
Most women will say that their face is round, but most faces are usually one of six basic shapes. After you determine your face shape, you'll be able to find what styles are best for you.
Hairstyles for your face shape
Every hairstyle is not for every woman. What looks fabulous on a
round face like Cameron Diaz or Drew Barrymore won't look as wonderful
on a heart-shaped face like Reese Witherspoon or Rose McGowan.- Take our quiz: What hairstyle is best for your face shape?
- Best hairstyles for your face shape
- Hairstyles for round face shapes
- Hairstyles for long face shapes
- Hairstyles for oval face shapes
Bonus tip: Hairstyles that will make you look thinner
Sunglasses for your face shape
When shopping for sunglasses or eyeglasses, you also need to keep your face shape in mind. A general rule is that the frame shape should be the opposite of your face shape. However, things can get a little more complicated than that, depending on your face shape. Follow these tips to find the right glasses for you.- How to find sunglasses for every face shape
- How to find eyeglass frames that fit your face
- Bonus tip: Get the best smile for your face
Oval Face Shapes
If you have an oval face shape, your face is slightly longer than it
is wide. Your face shape like an inverted egg -- wider at the top than
the bottom. Your jawline is slightly rounded.Find the best hairstyles for oval faces >>
Makeup tips for women with oval faces >>
Square Face Shapes
If you have a square face, the sides of your face are straight and
your face is nearly as wide as it is long. You have a defined, square
jawline, and your hairline is probably straight.Find the best hairstyles for square faces >>
Makeup tips for women with square faces >>
Round Face Shapes
If you have a round face, your jawline is round and full, and your
face is nearly as wide as it is long. Your cheekbones mark the widest
part of your face.Find the best hairstyles for round faces >>
Makeup tips for women with round faces >>
Heart Face Shapes
If you have a heart-shaped face or an inverted triangle-shaped face,
your face is longer than it is wide. Your jawline is long and pointed,
and is the narrowest part of your face. Find the best hairstyles for heart-shaped faces >>
Makeup tips for women with heart-shaped faces >>
Oblong Face Shapes
If you have an oblong face shape, our face is longer than it is wide.
Your forehead, cheeks and jawline are all the same width, and your
jawline is probably rounded.Find the best hairstyle for oblong faces >>
Makeup tips for women with oblong faces >>
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THE TYPES OF GUYS THAT WILL NEVER MARRY YOU
THE TYPE OF GUYS THAT WILL NEVER MARRY YOUBY SAMANTHA DANIELS
Have you ever wondered if there are guys out there that simply will not marry you? Are there certain men from whom you should just stay away because chances are, the relationship is going to be an exercise in frustration for you? You are not alone -- many women think about this all the time. And yes, there are certain types of men that you should just plain avoid because if you were playing the odds, the odds say these guys are just not going to seal the deal with you.
Here are 10 types of men that I, as a professional matchmaker, would recommend you steer clear of:
Mr. "Still Hung Up On His Ex": We have all been out with this guy. He says he is over his ex, yet at every turn, he talks about her and compares you to her. Please. He is not over her and until he is over her, he is not marrying you.
Mr. "I Am Not Ready For A Serious Relationship Right Now": This is the guy who dates a lot and then when he gets too close or decides he isn't interested in you, he uses the excuse that he's not ready. The question about this guy is this: Is he really not ready, or is that just a convenient excuse to dump you and avoid the commitment?
Mr. "Bigger Better Deal": You know this guy. He is the one who likes you a lot but is always wondering if there is a better version of you out there, somewhere in the universe. Honestly, do you need to be with the guy who is never going to think that you are good enough to marry?
Mr. "I Hang Out With Guys 15 Years My Junior": This is the guy who is 47 and a CEO of a company or a big-time executive and all of his contemporaries are married, so his BFFs are 25-year-olds and clubbing it. He is out until 3:00 a.m. several nights a week, looking to pick up and then he kids himself into thinking that when a 25-year-old girl says yes to a date with him, it's because he is such a good guy, not because she is dreaming of flying private.
Mr. "Still Trying To Figure Out His Career": If he is 40-plus and having a midlife work crisis, believe me, he is not going to marry you. Men need to be settled in their careers or at least know which direction they are headed on the career front before they can settle down.
Mr. "50-Something And Never Been Married": This guy is lurking everywhere. He is 50-plus and never married, yet he will swear to you that he is ready. When you ask him why he is still single, he will tell you it's because he hasn't met the right one. Then the question becomes that if he hasn't found her in the hundreds of women he has dated before you, what is going to make you so special that you are going to be his one? Probably nothing.
Mr. "Doesn't Believe In Monogamy": This guy thinks he is very avant-garde progressive, but most people will say he is just looking for an excuse to cheat. Do you really want to be with a guy who tells you upfront that he won't be faithful?
Mr. "All About Me": This guy is all about himself, 24/7, 365 days a year. Sharing your life with someone is hard enough, so do you really want to sign up to be with someone who is so into himself that they will never even notice you, your wants and your desires?
Mr. "My Kids Are The Only Thing I Care About": This guy is a tricky one. When you first meet him, he is endearing because you admire how dedicated he is to his children. You think to yourself that you would like to be with a man who is that responsible. However, then you start to see that he doesn't have any room for you at all because he is only about the kids. If you are going to be with a man with kids, he needs to want to find a place for you, front and center, in his life at least some of the time.
Mr. "Dates Other Women Who Mean Nothing To Him": This guy is really a commitment-phobe in disguise. Why does he need to date women who mean nothing to him if he is dating you and you supposedly mean something to him? You do the math.
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Saturday, 1 June 2013
THE FIRST TIME I SAW MY PERIOD WAS THE WORST DAY EVER
THE FIRST TIME I SAW MY
PERIOD WAS THE WORST DAY EVER
By Chinua Marie
I didn’t know the meaning of menses until I turned 10. When I was younger than that, I used to see my aunt rolling up tissue and putting in her pant. I never understood the meaning. I just thought my aunt was weird. There were also times I saw her removing something that looked like paper with red paint spread all over. I never knew what she was doing until I got admitted into a boarding school.
That was the time I started
hearing about “pap”, “bread and stew”, “killing foul…ah, the list is endless. My
first lecture in Home Economics was “Menstruation and Menstrual cycle. When I first
heard the lecture, I remembered my aunt and what she used to do down there. I laughed
at my ignorance. Again, while I started getting used the hostel life, I began
to see most of my seniors with a pack of something they called “Pad”. At a
point, I became so confused that I decided to ask questions. My fellow JJC’s
laughed at my questions but before weeks passed, I learnt all there was to know
about Menses without forgetting the part that said “ALL WOMEN MUST EXPERIENCE
IT”. I heard it was very painful too and that blood rushed from the vagina like
a river flow.
I panicked and prayed
to God to delay mine till I was ready. I hated being a woman, developing
breasts and hips and all that. I hated all that. I just wanted to be like the
boys. At that point, it seemed God answered my prayers as most of my classmates
began to see theirs and I didn’t see mine! JSS1 came, JSS2 came, I did not see
it. JSS3 came, I began to get worried. I was 13 and seemed to be the only girl
that has not started her “PERIOD”. My cousin, Nneka, whom was in my class, 14
yrs, had started seeing hers that month. That was when my panic-strickness
turned tables. I began to get worried, what was wrong with me? Why am I not
like the others? Come January, I started witnessing some intruders in my
private region. They were whitish in colour. I didn’t know what it meant too
and I was worried. I went to ask my cousin. I said, “Nneka, it seems am ill”. She
asked, “whats wrong?”. I told her that for the past three days, whitish drawing
liquid have been coming out of my vagina”. She laughed and shouted, “HOSTEL,
Marie has started seeing her pap ooooo”. All eyes turned towards me. I became
so shy. I asked Nneka in a very low tone what she meant oblivious of the fact that that all my
hostel mates heard me. Nneka called me MUMU and told me that my period will
soon start.
What?! I didn’t say a
word. I went straight to my bed and started crying. I felt humiliated. Anything
that concerned my vagina is not something I wanted to be discussed in the open.
Now everybody will know that am about to see my period, now everybody will be
looking at my bom bom to know if blood will drop out. I became scared that one
of those girls in the hostel will tell the boys in the class and all of them
will keep looking at me in awe just like they did to Sopulu. Then, I cried
myself to sleep till the next morning, forgetting assignments I had to submit
the next morning.
The next morning, I woke
up in a start. I felt perspirations all over my face. I was sweating profusely.
I tried to remember what happened last night. I became very sad when the memory
caught up with me. My feelings became worse when I remembered that I was yet to
finish my English assignment to be submitted that morning….and mheen, the
English aunty was very mean!
I forgot about my menses
predicament and hurried to finish the assignment, without realizing the sharp
pains I was feeling below my tummy. Did I tell you that my school uniform was
white in colour? I did not write the assignment because that day was Tuesday, my scheduled day to wash the rest room. Invoking English Aunty’s anger is better
than experiencing that dreadful wrath of the Matron. The rest room must be
washed before 6pm or else…and I woke up by 5:30. So the assignment had to wait
till after the Morning Assembly and the English class was the first to be held
every Tuesdays. What a good day its gonna be!
After the assembly, as
we usual, we all rushed to our seats before we were caught standing because…if
the English Teacher catches you standing, you remain standing till the end of
the 2hours lecture. My sit was in the front row, just a step before the teacher’s
position. It was when I sat down that I felt a sharp pain below my abdomen,
followed by a rush of something very wet on top of my panties. I felt very wet
and uncomfortable. I didn’t understand what was happening to me, I felt very
bad. I couldn’t leave the class either or else…
The English teacher
wrote “English” on the board, including the day’s date. She then introduced the
day’s topic and turned to face the class. She said, “I remember I gave you people
assignment, how many people did not do it?”. I raised my hand, only me. GUSH!! The
teacher stared at me in surprise and said, “Marie? A whole you!! What happened?
Why didn’t you do it?”. Of course you dared not answer a teacher’s question
sitting down, so I stood up.
That moment that I stood
up was the day I made history in Excellence Academy. As I stood up, I began to
hear girls giggling at the back and the guys….laughing uncontrollably. The teacher
forgot her question as she couldn’t understand what was amiss. She pointed at a
guy and asked him why he was laughing like a mad man. The boy continued
laughing. This got the teacher annoyed and she repeated the question. The guy,
Emeka, seeing that the matter was no longer a joke, said “Ma, I just saw you
and remembered the mad woman living behind my compound”. The class burst into
hysterics of laughter. I laughed too. The teacher’s face was so red that she
almost killed the guy with her stoned face expression. She flogged Emeka 24 strokes of
cane and sent us all in the field to cut the class for the whole day…….because
we laughed.
As the teacher left to
get more canes to lash us, the guys continued to look at me and my skirt. By then
I had sat down. It was my girlfriend, Chioma, who came to my seat, gave me her
sweater to tie around my buttocks and requested I follow. I was so confused as
they continued to giggle as we left. On our way to the hostel, Chioma told me
what happened. JESUS! I cried! The most embarrassing moment of the years!! I didn’t
say a word. I just followed Chioma quietly. She talked to the matron and the
matron let us inside the hostel. Chioma was so nice but that didn’t ease the
ache around my chest. She gave me water to take my bath, gave me one packet of
her pad and showed me how to use. She saw my face and said not to worry that
the rumor will die down in a few days. In a FEW DAYS!! I said in my head. I told
her I didn’t want to go back to class that day, that I was too tired. She made
excuses for me and the matron allowed me stay.
As she left, I let out
yellings of cries. I cried and cried and cried. Who am I going to tell that am
now a woman? How am I going to face my classmates again? How will I talk to
Emeka again, the guy I had been secretly admiring since I entered the school? Before
school was over that day, everyone in school was going to be told that Marie
has started seeing her period! OMG. Death was worst than this. I was ashamed of telling my mum. I didn’t want
her to start advising me about boys like she did my sister.
Days passed by, I didn’t
talk to anyone in class, not girls, not boys. I was always looking stone-faced.
My friends tried talking to me but I hushed them away. I decided to stay on my
own, to face the embarrassment alone. Some guys started to call me BIG GIRL at
my back. At times, I came to class to find notes in my locker. One said, “Its
me Iyke, Now that you’re woman, can we hang out some time, cant wait to have my
hands on your ripened juice”. That was so disgusting. Another one wrote, “baby,
nyetu m obara gi kam racha”. The notes breezed in everyday and some without
names, other names, I had never heard before (forged). It was as though
whenever I saw any guy looking at me, he was saying, “I know you are carring
something in your buttocks right now”. This continued for so long and made me
very stern and mean to guys. I hated the way they laughed at me that day. I swore
within me that I HATE GUYS. Some girls that laughed at me later apologized.
However, as time passed
by, people seemed to have forgotten but I know that whenever menses is
mentioned to freshers in school, I always pop into people’s mind. It’s a good
thing though coz I became very popular.
So guys who are reading
this, your laughters during this kind of situation is very hurtful and again,
young ladies out there, learn from my ignorance. IGNORANCE IS A DEADLY DISEASE.
If I had known the meaning of the pains I was experiencing, I would have saved
my self such disgrace coz that was what I considered it to be.
Meanwhile, I didn’t tell
my mum I had started seeing my menses until i travelled, during junior waec
holiday. She was so pissed at me and guess what? The advices still breezed in.
hope u njoyd ma story. HAVE A FUN FILLED DAY
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