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‘Help, my ex-lover demands sex from me in order to wed my sister!’

It was the evening of our Passing out Parade (POP) in Kaduna, so in excitement, some of my friends and I decided to go and celebrate the end of our compulsory one year National Youth Service in one of the popular night clubs in Barnawa.

We danced and drank until the early hours of the day. When I got tired, I decided to sit at the bar and have a quiet drink alone when I heard this bass male voice behind me “Hey pretty lady why are you drinking all by yourself? By the way, my name is Charles, what is yours?” I turned around to see who the man was and I saw a dark, tall, handsome gentleman. I didn’t want to tell him my real name so I said, “My name is Joyce and I drink alone because I feel like it,” I answered. “I am sure you are one of the corps members who passed out today. Isn’t it?” he asked. “Yes, I am and I am so happy that it is all over,” I affirmed.

We chatted for a while before hitting the dance floor and I must confess, he was a good dancer. He told me that he lived in Lagos but was only in Kaduna for his friends wedding and would be returning to Lagos in three days. I also told him I lived in Delta State with my parents but will be relocating to Lagos to start living with my elder sister. Anyway, one thing led to the other and before we knew it, we ended up in his hotel room. However, before leaving, he gave me his complimentary card but I informed him that I will have no need for it since it was just a one night stand.

He revealed that although he had known me for just a few hours, he had come to like my kind of person and wished that we could see in Lagos and spend quality time together again before he finally ties the knot. I told him I was not interested because I was in a serious relationship. He gave me N10,000 and we bid each other goodbye. In order not to contact each other again, I refused to give him my phone number when he asked for it.

I left Kaduna the next day for Lagos and when I arrived, I was so excited to see my elder sister, Sheila, because we had not seen in almost a year. Although we usually talked on the phone and she informed me that she will soon be getting married to this handsome dude, I was so curious to meet him. “Sister Sheila, so when can I meet my brother-in-law-to-be?” I asked. “You have to be patient Immaculate. He travelled out of Lagos, he should be back in the next two or three days,” Sheila emphasised. “I can’t wait to meet the man who finally won your heart, sis,” I stressed. Everything was going on well until Charles showed up at Sheila’s doorstep four days later.

Sheila and I were having dinner when we heard the doorbell ring. I wanted to get to the door but she asked me not to worry. The next thing I heard was, “Hello sweetheart, welcome back from your trip. I missed you. Come in and join us for dinner,” Sheila said. “Join us for dinner? Who is here with you?” the man asked. She told him not to worry or try guessing until he gets to the dining table.

“Sweetheart, meet my younger sister, Immaculate. Immaculate meet Gomez, my fiancée,” she introduced. Of course, we were both surprised to meet again. My reaction almost gave me out but I had to control myself. “Gomez, it is finally a pleasure to meet the man who stole the heart of my sister,” I stuttered. “Same here, your sister had told me a lot about you,” Gomez said. While we all ate dinner together, what kept playing in my head was how I and ‘Charles’ or is it Gomez met in Kaduna and how we lied to each other about our names. Immediately Sheila left for the kitchen, he told me we needed to sit down and talk. He quickly slipped his complimentary card into my hands and pleaded with me to give me a call.

I gave him a call two days later and we agreed to meet in a hotel. On getting there, I thought Gomez wanted to plead with me not to mention a word to Sheila about what happened between us in Kaduna but instead, he told me he had not been able to take me off his mind no matter how hard he tried and prayed that we should meet someday. “God brought you back to me my darling. I have fallen in love with you. Yes, I know it was just a one night stand but I have not been able to take you off my mind. Immaculate, you are the woman of my dreams,” he stressed. “I’m sorry but I made it clear that I don’t want to have anything to do with you. So, please forget about me and think about my sister, Sheila, and your forthcoming wedding,” I retorted. “I don’t know if you believe in love at first sight because I fell in love with you right from the time I saw you at the club. Seeing you again has given me a second thought about not going ahead with the wedding,” he stressed. “What did you just say? If it is a joke please stop it. My sister loves you; you must not let her down. What excuse will you give to her?” I questioned. “Well, I don’t know yet but you are the one I want,” Gomez stressed. “The only condition I will marry your sister is if you agree to have an affair with me. I will give you time to think about it,” he said. “You must be out of your senses, Gomez,” I said angrily. Immediately, I left the hotel room in anger.

But as the days went by, I realised that I was falling in love with him too. Gomez’s visit to Sheila’s house became frequent all because he wanted to see me. However, Sheila thought he was coming because of her. She became so blind to notice it because she was madly in love with him.

It is just a few weeks to their wedding and Gomez has reminded me about what he discussed with me about having an affair with him if I still want him to marry my sister, Sheila. The truth is that I am already falling in love with him too but I don’t want to hurt my sister. Do I bulge so that Gomez could marry my sister, Sheila? Do I tell my sister the truth so that she will know the kind of man Gomez really is? Will he even make her happy if he eventually marries her if I give in? I don’t know how to handle this situation

'I neglected my four female children, today they’re my cornerstone’

I got married to my sweetheart and colleague, Nse, when we were both teachers about 20 years ago in Calabar. She was quite young and pretty then, but what actually attracted me to her was her brilliance and determination to succeed in life. She was everything any man would want as a wife as well as the mother to his children. Although my family initially objected to our marriage, because I knew she was the woman for me, we fought for our love and won.

In the fourth year of our marriage, Nse became the principal of the secondary school while I left teaching and became a big-time government contractor and started making so much money. We were so happy together but unfortunately I was not a happy man. The reason was because our marriage produced only four girls. As an African man, I wanted a male child or children so that I would be regarded and respected. I felt female children were useless as they would all end up not only in a man’s house but in his kitchen.

I didn’t want to bother Nse for more children so that she wouldn’t fill my home with female children so I decided to start dating Emem, a younger woman. I started coming home late as I began to spend more time with her in the apartment I rented for us. When Nse noticed this new attitude and started complaining, I picked up unnecessary quarrels or even heated arguments with her until I angrily moved out of our matrimonial home one Sunday evening.

I abandoned my wife and four daughters and started leaving with Emem. A few months later, we had a small traditional wedding. When Nse found out, she was enraged but after some time, she told me she had forgiven me and our friendship remained cordial. My daughter’s vowed that they will never forgive me for leaving their mother. To them I was already dead.

A year later, Emem gave birth to a set of male twins. That was the happiest day of my life. When I saw them sleeping in their crib at the hospital, tears of joy rolled down my eyes. “God, thank you so much for my sons. Finally, I am now a true African man,” I muttered. I named them John and James.

At this point, I completely forgot about my daughters and concentrated on training and giving my sons the best of everything in life. As they grew older, I showered them with so much love, attention, gifts and money. Meanwhile, Nse took responsibility for the girls’ education and welfare since I told her I will not train them through school. “Moses, why are you not interested in training your daughters?” Nse asked. “Just like I always say, women don’t need education because they always end up in a man’s kitchen, so there is no need to waste my money on them,” I revealed. “My daughters will become career women in life with or without your help. Even if I don’t have to eat for them to be educated, I will do it. Moses, I will surely prove you wrong,” Nse vowed. Determined to prove me wrong, Nse singlehandedly trained them through secondary school to university, while I focused on my adorable sons who will keep my lineage alive as well as succeed me.

I guess that Emem and I over-pampered John and James as we spared the rod and spoilt them. However, I am still paying dearly for it. As they grew older, they began to reprimand their mother and I whenever we tried to correct them. Sometimes they even shouted or punched us but we overlooked all of that because we felt they were still children. Once they demand for anything, they expected to get it immediately. If they don’t, anything can happen. For instance, if they asked their mother for food and it was not yet ready, they will either push or punch her for delaying their meal. Eventually when the food is ready, they might tell her to enter the kitchen and prepare something else for them to eat since she wasted so much time before serving them. For me, if they request anything from me and I give them an excuse, they will start by kicking, slapping and then finally punching me.

However, a day after their 18th birthday, something happened after the elaborate birthday party we held for them. They both demanded for cars as their birthday gifts but I turned down their requests. They threatened to deal with me and their mother before storming out of the house. Not sure of what they would do next coupled with how they had been physically attacking us, their mother fled and left them for me. “Moses, I will not allow these boys to kill me before my time. Yes, they are my children but I will not die because of them. I am going away for good,” Emem declared.

Can you imagine living in fear with my sons in my own house? However, the last straw that broke the camel’s back was when they bashed my Landcruiser jeep and I told them to fix it if not they will be severely punished. Instead of pleading for forgiveness, John and James pounced on me and beat me until I was unconscious. They took me to the hospital and left me there to die. When I regained consciousness and found myself on a hospital bed I asked one of the nurses what happened to me. She informed me that I was brought to the hospital by two young boys and that I had been unconscious for almost two days. I pleaded with her to get in touch with Nse, my first wife. Immediately Nse was contacted, she rushed to the hospital to see. She informed me that our first daughter, Mayen, was in charge of my case. I felt so ashamed of myself. She assured me that everything will be well when I finished narrating the ordeal I had been going through in the hands of my sons.

By the time I was discharged, she promised to take good care of me. By the time we got to my house, all my three cars were gone and John and James were nowhere to be found. The gateman informed me that he was sure John and James had sold the cars. He also advised that I should be ready for more surprises because he did not trust my sons. While I was still trying to comprehend that, two men came to my house three days later and informed me that I had just a week to vacate my house because they are the new owners of the house. They informed me that John and James sold it to them a week earlier. I almost slumped from my chair as I started shedding tears. “God, what have I done to these boys? Where did I go wrong?” I sobbed. I was evicted from my own house which I built with my hardearned money because of the evil deeds of my sons.
Immediately they left, Nse suggested that I move in with her to the five-bedroom bungalow our daughter’s built for her. There and then, I started shedding tears again. I shed tears because I felt like a fool, after abandoning her and our daughters for so many years, she still loves and cares for me as if nothing happened. I told her I cannot live under the same roof with her because my daughters will not like the idea since I neglected them. She promised to talk to them. “Moses you are still my husband and the father of my four lovely daughters,” she said.

After pleading for forgiveness from my daughters, they once again accepted me as their father. I am happy to say that she is enjoying the fruit of her labour. I learnt that a year before her retirement, knowing that their mother is a workaholic, they bought a land and built a crèche and nursery school to still keep her busy and active. They equally employed capable hands to assist her. They also built a five-bedroom bungalow in which we live presently. Although, they were singlehandedly trained by their mother, today I also enjoy the wealth of my daughters. I am very grateful to God.

For almost 28 years, I neglected my daughters but today, as the saying goes, the rejected stone has become the chief cornerstone. My first two daughters are medical doctors, the third is a chemical engineer while the last girl is studying architecture. I have come to realise that children, be they female or male, are gifts from God. Neglecting female children is the worst thing any father can do. The last I heard about John and James was that they were shot dead by the police for armed robbery

‘Is there anything wrong in marrying our housemaid?’

‘Is there anything wrong in marrying our housemaid?’

 

My name is Derex. I come from a very wealthy family. I am the fourth of five male siblings and we live in Lekki, in Lagos State. Right from my childhood, we had everything at our beck and call.

My father owns companies in Lagos, Abuja, Kaduna and Port Harcourt and as a golden rule, immediately after your National Youth Service, you must work in one of the companies in any state of your choice. However, we all settled for the company in Lagos. Before we started working, my father paid us monthly salaries while we were still in school aside from our monthly allowance at the end of the month. He said he did not want us to lack anything.

I was the most stubborn of all my brothers. As a rule, I only dated girls and made friends with people in our social class. I looked down on those I considered to be below my class. Because of my attitude, some of my extended family members consciously avoided coming close to me when they visited our house. I would describe myself as pompous but as I grew older, all that changed as I realised that life is what you make out of it.

At the age of 18, I started dating a childhood friend, Claudia. Both parents encouraged and supported our relationship. Fortunately, we gained admission into the University of Lagos the same year to study Mechanical Engineering. In our department, they knew us together as a couple. Our friends and family members all believed that our relationship was destined by God as we were inseparable.

The only thing that separated us was our compulsory one-year National Youth Service. While I was posted to Abuja, Claudia served in Lagos. However, despite the distance, we communicated a lot through the telephone and face book. Aside from that, we exchanged visits every two weeks throughout the duration of the service year. When I eventually returned to Lagos, I started working in my father’s company while Claudia got a job with one of the oil companies in Lagos as well. I made sure I picked her up after work every day since we both live in the same area. Sometimes, she spends the weekend with my family because my parents love and adore her a lot.

After one of such weekends with us, my mother told me that she had something very important to discuss with me. “Derex, my son, now that you have started working, why don’t you think of settling down with Claudia? Your three elder brothers are married and your younger brother is in the university. We all know she is a well brought up lady. Aside from that, everyone in the family likes her,” she said. I smiled and said, “Mother, I think you read my mind because I was thinking of proposing to her next weekend so that we can commence our marriage plans. I have waited for eight years to have her as my wife. I hope she will accept me?” “Of course she will. Claudia loves you as much as you love her,” she assured.

The next weekend, I took Claudia to her favourite restaurant and proposed to her. She accepted without hesitation. This made me so happy and we both agreed to officially inform our parents. About a month later, both families met to start discussing about our wedding plans. It was however agreed that the wedding should take place in the next six months, exactly on Claudia’s birthday. Both of us had no problems with that. I looked forward to walking down the aisle with the woman I love so much. But I later noticed that Claudia was not as excited as I was. I know that nobody is perfect but Claudia was too superficial and she cares only about herself. I felt with time she would change but how wrong I was.

Some weeks later, I fell sick and was hospitalised. I spent about eight days in the hospital but Claudia only came to see me once. That was on the second day. She did not even bother to call to find out how I was faring. Iwas shocked, I must confess. Whenever I called her cell phone, she did not pick my calls. If she did she would simply say, “Please I’m busy; I will call you back later.” But she never returned my calls.

Throughout my stay at the hospital, it was our house help, Shaki, who took care of me generally because my parents travelled out of the country. Shaki had always been a hardworking and caring girl and we all like her personality, although she had to drop out of secondary school when she lost her parents in a car accident. Shaki prepared my food and brought same to the hospital for me. Sometimes, even when I had no appetite to eat anything, she encouraged me to eat and even spoon-fed me if I needed, so that I would have food in my stomach to take my drugs. It was during that period that I came to like her even more. Claudia’s parents too came to see me once at the hospital too.

When I was finally discharged, I told the driver to take me straight to Claudia’s office but Shaki tried to discourage me. “Brother Derex, why don’t you go home straight and rest? You can see her tomorrow,” Shaki suggested. But I didn’t listen to her. When I got to Claudia’s office to enquire why she only visited me once and never bothered to call nor return my calls, she said that she had been very busy. “Sorry, Derex, I have been too busy. I will try and come and see you at home on my way home from work. Anyway, when were you discharged?” she asked. “I just left the hospital and I am on my way home but decided to see you first,” I emphasised.

She gave me a hug and a peck and I left. Surprisingly, she did not come to see me as promised. Even when I called her phone, she did not pick up nor did she send a text message to explain why she couldn’t make it. I was feeling downcast but Shaki tried all she could to cheer me up. The next day, a Saturday, I went to their house and her parents informed me that she went out with a friend. I complained to them about her attitude of late and they told me, I should talk to her because they cannot tell me anything. “Well, I will advise that both of you should sit down and talk,” stressed her mother. “When she does not even pick my calls nor come to see me, how do we talk?” I questioned. All my efforts to get Claudia and to sit down and talk proved abortive. I loved her so much and really wanted to know why the sudden change in her attitude towards me and our relationship.

A week later, I and my siblings decided to have dinner at the same restaurant where I proposed to Claudia and I got the shock of my life. As we entered the restaurant, we saw Claudia kissing a young man at a corner. I was shocked to my bone marrow. On sighting us, she whispered something into his ears, picked up her purse and they left immediately.

“It is over Derex, please forget about Claudia. She does not deserve your love,” said Paul my elder brother. I could neither eat nor drink as I kept seeing the flash of how Claudia was kissing another man. Although it was a hard and painful decision to make nevertheless I made up my mind to forget about Claudia and move on with my life. I informed my parents about the latest development and my decision when I got home. Then my mother said, “I am sure that was the young man I saw her with the other day. My son no woman is worth the trouble,” she added.

A few months later, I discovered that I had started developing interest in Shaki. I liked her intensely each passing day and I had to open up to her. She was shocked when I told her that I have fallen in love with her. Shaki started avoiding me but I told her she had nowhere to run to as she would soon become my wife. One day, she said to me, “Brother Derex, I want only God’s will to be done in my life.” To assure her that I was serious about marrying her, I informed my parents about my decision.

The day I informed my parents that I was in love with Shaki and would want her to be my wife, my mother flared up. “Derex, you must have gone out of your mind. You want to marry our house help? What did you see in her? Her tribal marks alone should scare you, “she stressed. “The fact that she is our house help does not make her less a woman. She is a nice woman and she has all the qualities I want in a wife, so what else am I looking for? And talking about her tribal marks, that is even one of the things I love about her,” I revealed. This made my mother even angrier and she started cursing the day she brought Shaki into our home. My father just asked me to have a rethink and I assured him there was nothing to think about as my mind was made up.

Some days later, I bought her some gifts to show my appreciation and thank her for how she took care of me when I was sick. She simply said thank you but I begged her for a hug and before we knew it, we ended up in the bed. I had no regret making love to Shaki because I had come to love her so much.

Weeks later, Shaki woke up vomiting and this surprised everyone especially my mother. “What is wrong with you Shaki?” she asked. “Madam I woke up and started vomiting. Maybe it is because of the beans I ate last night,” she assured. Not convinced enough, my mother took Shaki to the hospital and after some test was conducted, it was discovered that she was pregnant. “Who is responsible for this pregnancy?” My mother angrily asked. “It is brother Derex,” Shaki revealed. “I know it is not my son, so if you don’t tell me the truth, I will beat you and send you out of my house,” she threatened. Then I said, “Mum, if Shaki says the pregnancy is mine, then, it is mine. I believe her,” I stressed. This made my mother really angry. “Derex, how could you disgrace the family in this manner?” she asked. “Mother, I only followed my heart and Shaki is the woman I want to marry,” I said.

My mother started maltreating Shaki which did not go down well with my father and me so I threatened to move out of the house with her but my mother pleaded that she would change her attitude towards her and she truly did. She accepted Shaki and started treating her as if she were her daughter and this made everyone happy. However, whenever I bring up the issue of marriage, my mother seems not to be too happy about it. Anyway, Shaki gave birth to a bouncing baby boy and this made me love her even more.
She is pregnant with my second child and my mother is still reluctant about us getting married. She kept talking about the difference in our social status and I promised her I will send Shaki to further her education so that she will fit into our class but she is still obstinate. The truth is that Shaki has added so much value to my life, aside that, I believe she is my missing rib and I love her so much. Honestly, is there anything wrong with marrying our house help?

 

'Cletus, I’m sorry I cannot marry an illiterate’

My name is Tonia. I was only eight years old when my parents and younger brother died from food poisoning. On the night before they died, I went to bed early hence I didn’t eat the yam porridge they all had as dinner. The next morning, they all complained of stomach pain and were rushed to the hospital by our driver but not before calling Aunty Vivian, my mother’s younger sister.

She promised to go straight to the hospital to see them. She, however, promised to come and take me to see them as soon as possible. “Tonia, please stay at home with the maid. I will go straight to the hospital and see your parents and brother. I promise to come and take you to see them as soon as possible,” she said over the phone. However, she came to see me about three hours later just to give me the sad news that changed my life forever. “Tonia my dear, there is something you must know. I know you are no longer a child. Your parents and brother are dead. The doctor said they died as a result of food poisoning,” Aunty Vivian revealed. She cuddled me while we both cried out our hearts.

Immediately after their burial, my father’s siblings took over all his property and left me with nothing. I was very sad and lonely but Aunty Vivian promised to take good care of me. I had to start living with her family. I used to attend an expensive private school but with all that happened, I had to stop going to school for sometime because Aunty Vivian could not afford my school fees. Later, she enrolled me in the public school which her two children attended. However, she could not fulfil her promise for long as her husband won the American Visa lottery and they had to travel out of the country. I could not go with them since I was not their child.

Nevertheless, before they eventually travelled, she handed me over to her best friend, Monica and her family. Aunty Vivian in my presence pleaded with Monica to take good care of me and treat me like her own child. I thought I had finally found a family and a home where I will be loved and accepted but how wrong I was. The six years I stayed with Aunty Monica and her family was like living in hell. I was treated more like a house help. Aside from being maltreated, I had to drop out of school in JSS 3 because Aunty Monica informed me that Aunty Vivian had stopped sending her money to take care of my personal and educational needs, thus, she could not waste her hard-earned money on someone like me. When I could not bear the maltreatment any longer, I ran away not even knowing where I was headed. All I knew was that I had to leave the house before she killed me.

At age 14, I found myself on the street. I slept in an uncompleted building for one week while I begged to eat. Nevertheless, I didn’t know that the man who sold fruits some houses from the uncompleted building had noticed that I begged around the area. One day he called me and said, “Young girl, I have noticed that you beg people for money every day. Don’t you have a family?” “No, uncle I don’t have a family,” I said. He introduced himself as Cletus the fruit seller and I introduced myself as Tonia. He told me that I could come to him for any assistance. I accepted.

Three days later, he told me he wanted to have a serious talk with me. He said, “Tonia, I want you to stop begging. I promise to take good care of you. Second, I want you to stop sleeping in that uncompleted building because it is too dangerous for you. Finally, I want you to come and live with me and my younger ones. We live in a two-bedroom apartment, you can share a room with my sister if you don’t mind,” Cletus suggested. “Thank you. I am very grateful and I appreciate all your help,” I said. He took me home that evening and introduced me to his younger sister, Mercy. She accepted me with open hands and we started living together as a family.

Cletus promised to cater for my education and, immediately, he sent me back to school. Although, I had to start from JSS 2, I knew it was better than not going to school at all. Cletus continued selling fruits by the street side to pay our fees, meet our personal and general needs as well. Thank God his fruit business continued to prosper. Unfortunately, Mercy died mysteriously when she was 16 years old and this affected him so much.

However, a year later, I got admission into the university to study Economics. When I informed Cletus, he reminded me that he promised to cater for my education and so he would fulfil his promise.

Anyway, a year later, I got admission into the university to study Economics. When I informed Cletus, he reminded me that he had promised to cater for my education and would fulfil his promise.
In my first year in the university, I came home one Saturday afternoon and decided to see Cletus where he sells fruits before heading home to rest. I didn’t meet him there. Surprised, I went home and met him sleeping at the corridor. I quietly walked into the house and decided to prepare something for us to eat before he woke up. As I was cooking, he woke up and asked, “Tonia, when did you come?” “Brother Cletus, I came in about 30 minutes ago,” I replied. “I must have slept very deep since I was very tired,” he said. “On my way home, I decided to check on you first at your fruit shop. As I could not see you, I came home and met you sleeping at the corridor. I hope there is no problem?” I asked. “There is no problem, I only decided to rest today,” Cletus explained. Although, he assured me that there was no problem, deep down in my heart, I knew that he was troubled. From the way he was eating when I gave him his food, it was obvious that he was forcing himself to eat.

Later that evening, he informed me that he had something important to tell me. He disclosed that his fruit business was no longer doing well and as such he had stopped selling fruits. “Tonia, my fruit business is no longer doing well and I spend a lot of money on it. I have decided to look for another business to do,” he revealed. “Which business do you want to do now?” I asked. “I don’t know yet but I will think of one and start as soon as possible. Don’t worry you will not stop going to school,” he assured.

The next time I visited home, Cletus was a truck driver. He worked for a construction company and he was so excited about it. “Tonia, I am now a truck driver for a construction company and they pay me well. It is just that sometimes I have to travel to other nearby states to deliver building materials,” he disclosed. “That is good. I can see that you are very happy with this your new job,” I said. “I am not ashamed to drive a truck as long as I can pay your way through the university. I know you are like a sister to me but I love you very much,” he said. “Cletus, I love you too. You have done so much for me,” I emphasised. For the first time, he kissed me. That was how we started an affair in my second year. No doubt, Cletus loves me so much. He was willing to do anything just to make me happy and also ensure that I completed my university degree.
Sometimes he comes to visit me in school with lots of foodstuff, beverages, gifts and money. On my birthdays, he makes sure I don’t feel alone. He ensures we celebrate it together no matter how small. He warned me to stay away from boys so that I don’t get distracted. I knew however that he was speaking because of his own interest.

In my third year, I had become older and wiser and came to the realisation that Cletus was not the kind of man I should even have a relationship with. I was so sure he was waiting for me to complete my university degree so that he would ask me marriage. The truth is that he is not the kind of man I want to spend the rest of my life with because he is illiterate. I still had to play along because of my education. At this point, a couple of young men had started asking me for a relationship. However, I was not ready to lose focus as I wanted to graduate with good grades so that I could get a good job after graduation.

As I had anticipated, I went home one weekend in my final year and Cletus spoke his mind. “Tonia, there is something I have been wanting to tell you and I guess now is the right time,” he started. “I hope there is no problem,” I asked. “No my dear, I just want to tell you that now that you are almost through with your university degree, it is time we started talking about our wedding plan,” he stressed. I didn’t know whether to smile or frown but I had to put on a fake smile. “Are you serious? Well, yes, I am in my final year but remember I still have a year to serve my country. Whatever plans you have must still have to wait,” I said. Although, he was not too satisfied with my answer, nevertheless, he had to drop the topic. Already my mind was made up, I cannot marry him.

Three months after graduation, he brought up the issue of marriage again. I stylishly told him I was not ready and he promised to wait until I wam ready. Deep down in my heart, I cannot marry him because he is not my type of man. About two months after I completed my National Youth Service Corps programme, I got a job with a bank and Cletus would not stay a day without bringing up the issue of marriage. I threatened to move out of the house if he continued to bug me about marriage. He temporarily stopped until some weeks later.
It was a Saturday morning, after breakfast he asked me if I was still not ready to get married to him and I said, “Cletus do you really think I am going to marry you? No way. I appreciate all you have done for me but the truth is that I am sorry I cannot marry illiterate.” He was shocked. A few seconds later he said, “Tonia, you call me illiterate? I worked so hard just to see you through school and you pay me by calling me illiterate? Thank you and God bless you.” “Cletus if you had told me from the beginning that you were going to marry me in exchange of training me through both secondary school and the university, I would not have agreed because you are not and will never be my kind of man,” I retorted. He angrily stormed out of the room while I gathered my things together. I knew that the rate he was going he might do something nasty to me because I rejected him outright.

A few days later, I moved out of the house. I now stay with Freda, one of my colleagues at work in Ikeja. Aside from staying miles away from Cletus, it is much closer to my place of work. Some weeks back, I ran into a young boy who lived in the same street with Cletus who informed me that Cletus was almost running mad because of me. “All he does is talk to himself while walking in the street. The only thing he says is, ‘Tonia does not want to marry me because I am illiterate’, and then he will smile,” the young man said.
I am grateful that he sponsored my education but I want someone in my own class and not a truck driver. The difference is very clear. Have I done any wrong by telling him the truth? If you were in my shoes, won’t you do the same?

‘I helped a ‘sister’ into my home, she took over my husband’

‘I helped a ‘sister’ into my home, she took over my husband’

 

Is it wrong to give shelter to a female church member? I was once a happily married woman but today I am a single mother because of ‘sister’ Patience whom we all thought was a true born again Christian and actually needed a roof over her head.

If I had only listened to my husband, Anthony, and stuck to his initial suggestion, I know my marriage would have still been intact despite my childlessness then. My name is Jasmine and this is my story.
It was one fateful Wednesday afternoon at about 2:30 pm that I received a phone call from my pastor, Pastor Emmanuel; he requested to see me and my husband after church service that evening. Amazed, I said, “Pastor, I hope there is no problem because you have not called us for some time now.” He assured me that everything was alright.

Immediately after the service, Anthony and I went to the pastor’s office. He told us that there was a ‘sister’ who needs assistance and he believes we were the only ones who could help her. “Sister Patience has been in the church for just a few months however, she is on fire for the Lord. She is a member of the prayer warrior, sanctuary cleaners and choir,” he said. He further stated that, “The sister she is putting up with brought two of her younger siblings to stay with her and since it’s a one-room apartment, the place has become too small and uncomfortable for them so she is looking for another place to stay. When she mentioned it to me, my mind went to you and your husband,” Pastor Emmanuel revealed. At the end, he pleaded with us to be our brother’s keeper. My husband, Anthony promised him that we would think about it and get back to him in three days before leaving his office.

When Anthony and I talked about the issue, he bluntly told me he does not like the idea of a full grown woman living with us; nevertheless he is willing to get a small apartment for her. “Darling, she cannot live in this house with us. But I am willing to get a small apartment for her if Pastor Emmanuel will not mind,” he suggested. “But darling, we live alone in this duplex. There is enough room, aside that, the boy’s quarters is also there. Why not allow sister Patience stay with us even if it is in the boy’s quarters,” I suggested. I knew Anthony would eventually agree because he loves me so much and would do anything that would make me happy even though we have been married for almost 10 years without a child. Despite all the pressure from his mother he neither thought of marrying another wife nor chasing me away from our matrimonial home.
Anyway, I succeeded in convincing him and he agreed that she would stay in the boy’s quarters. On the morning of the third day which coincidentally was a Saturday, Pastor Emmanuel came to visit us at home believing that we would have made up our mind. “Welcome pastor, we wanted to come and see you later in the day but since you are already here, we will just give you our answer,” said Anthony. “Well, pastor sister Patience can stay with us, however, she will stay at the boy’s quarters,” he stressed. “O thank you brother Anthony, I know I can always count on you and your wife. I will inform her immediately. But when she can move in?” he asked. “Whenever she likes,” I answered. He thanked us and happily left.

The next day, sister Patience showed up at our house and I took her to the boy’s quarters. “This is where you will be staying. You are welcome and please my dear I want you to feel at home,” I said. “Thank you sister Jasmine, I really appreciate this kind gesture from you and your husband,” she stated. I became challenged as a Christian when I hear sister Patience praying every night, especially between 12 and 2:00 am. Then at exactly 6:00 am again, you would hear her praising God and praying for at least another hour or thereabout. I felt that was the kind of Christian I should be. I felt I was not praying enough about our childless situation and so I decided that I would be a good friend with her so that we could be praying together concerning my childlessness. If possible hold vigils together at least twice a week if necessary.
As weeks went by, I told her I wanted us to be prayer partners and she accepted. She asked me what the matter was and advised that I open up so that she would know how best to handle the prayer. Since I felt she was a true born again, I told her certain things about myself and my husband because I wanted quick result. We held prayers inside my sitting room once my husband leaves for the office because I am a full time house wife. I never allowed her go beyond my sitting room. However, a few months later, I took ill when Anthony travelled so I pleaded with sister Patience to come and stay with me until he returned and she agreed.

For those four days, I noticed that I didn’t hear her praise God nor pray like she used to. Even when we scheduled to hold one hour vigil, she told me that she was too tired and I became a bit worried. Anyway when Anthony came back from his trip, I told him how helpful sister Patience was in his absence and he thanked her.

About two weeks later, I realized that Anthony keeps going to the boys quarters to see sister Patience and when I asked him, he said they were praying concerning ‘our situation’. “Anthony, if you want to pray concerning our situation, I should be there too and the prayer should be done in our apartment and not inside sister Patience’s room,” I emphasized. From that day, Anthony’s attitude towards me changed. She snaps at me at the slightest provocation, he calls me a witch who has eaten up all her children and advises that I become a true child of God like sister Patience. At this point, I knew that the devil had taken over my home and marriage.

When I confronted sister Patience about what was going on between her and my husband, she said she had no idea about what I was talking about. Anthony started making our home uncomfortable for me; so one day, I asked him, “What has taken over your soul? You are no longer the loving husband I married. Darling please tell me what my offence is and I will apologize to you,” I begged. “You are a barren woman and I need children so I have decided to take another wife,” he revealed. “Did you just say another wife? Who is this woman? Where is your faith? God is the giver of children,” I wept. He told me it was over as God has just revealed his God given wife to him.

I rushed to the church to inform the pastor Emmanuel and he told me he was sure I didn’t hear Anthony well hence he would follow me home to talk to him. To our shock, when Pastor Emmanuel and I got to our house, we saw ‘sister’ Patience sitting on my husband’s lap and they were both drinking whisky while the bible was on the chair.
“Sister Patience, what do you think you are doing with Brother Anthony? Is this how you intend to thank the woman who accepted into her house? You should be ashamed of yourself,” Pastor Emma said. “I want you to go to your room, pack your things and leave my compound this minute,” I said.

“Well, sister Patience is not leaving this house, and my dear wife you are the one leaving. As we speak she is pregnant for me, something you could not do in almost 10 years. We are getting married at the registry in three days. As for you Pastor Emmanuel, thanks for making me meet my God giving wife. However, I don’t want to see you in my house again. Now both of you leave my house,” he screamed. “Well, my mission is accomplished. My mission was to get a husband and I said to myself, the easiest place to achieve this was in the church. And thank God it worked. I only pretended to be born again so that I could win the heart of Pastor Emmanuel and some church members. My God, I am a good actress”, Patience revealed.
With teary eyes, I said, “Sister Patience, I accepted you into my house and you had the effrontery to destroy my marriage? I assure you that you will never enjoy your marriage. Now you are all smiles but believe me tomorrow you will be all tears.”

Even Pastor Emmanuel shed tears because of the deception from ‘sister’ Patience who he thought was a true child of God and he was trying to help. Since Anthony asked me to leave his house, I went to my bedroom, packed some of my belongings and important documents and left for my brother’s house. A month later, I discovered that I was pregnant and nine months later, I gave birth to a bouncing baby boy. Meanwhile I heard that ‘sister’ Patience lost the pregnancy some months later.

Anthony and ‘sister’ Patience I learnt live like cat and mouse at home and they are very unhappy. I always remember them in my prayers. I have moved on with my life and God has been so faithful to me. My son is my world and I don’t intend to remarry.

The only advice I have for readers is that it is good to help people but please you should be sensitive in your spirit because we have a lot of fake born again people in the house of God

 

‘I pretended to be poor just to find a wife’

‘I pretended to be poor just to find a wife’

 

I am the first son of three boys and the Chief Executive Officer of my father’s architectural firm. Unfortunately, I am the only ugly one and when I say ugly, I mean ugly. My two younger brothers are very handsome, so is my dad. My mother is a very pretty woman too, so most times I wonder where I got my ugliness from. However, I come from a very wealthy family so women flock all around me and my brothers.

For me, at first I never knew that all the women who come close to me were only interested in my money until I begin to talk about marriage. Once I talk about marriage to any of them, I don’t see them ever again. They run away and even when I call them on phone, they don’t pick up but when they do, they all say almost the same thing. “Benjamin, yes you are rich and you love to spend money but which reasonable woman in her right senses will marry an ugly looking man like you? Don’t you look at yourself in the mirror? You look like a chimpanzee.” These words are so hurting that sometimes I weep.

One Saturday morning, I visited my parent’s home so that I could ask them why I look very different from the rest of the family but I met only my mother at home. When she saw me, she knew something was wrong and she asked, “Son, what is the matter?” “Mum please tell me the truth, are you and dad my real parents? If yes, why am I so ugly? Why do I look different from the rest of the family? If no, was I adopted?” I questioned.

“Benjamin, what type of a question is this? Of course you are our first son. You were not adopted. Your father said you look like your great-grandfather because I have also asked myself the same question,” she revealed. She assured me that I will someday find a woman who will truly love me for who I am.
I promised myself that I was going to get married at the age of 28. So about seven months to my birthday, I had to think of a plan on how to meet the right woman for me. I wanted a woman who would love me the way I am and not because of my money. I told my family about my plans and they promised to give me their unflinching support. However, the two people who knew about my everyday plan were my driver and my best friend, Larry.

First, I live in VGC alone. But for my plan to be effective, I told my driver to get me a one room apartment in Ajegunle or Mushin where nobody knows me. And in a short time, he got me a one room apartment in a face-me-I-face you compound in Ajegunle and I moved in immediately. The idea was to live the life of a poor man even though I knew it was not going to be easy. However, I was determined to achieve my goal.
The only valuable things in the room were the standing fan and a mattress. Also I wore tattered clothes and buy food from ‘mama put’ especially beans and bread. In the morning, during the week, I leave home in my tattered clothes and go straight to Larry’s house at Apapa where my driver waits for me to change my clothes so that we could go to the office. In the evening, he drops me there as well. After eating dinner, I change back into my tattered clothes and go home.

At weekends, I sit in front of the house most times to see how people live their lives. While there I hear people gossip about how ugly I look and they wonder how my children would look like if I eventually get married. Whenever I hear these words, it makes me sad but I try not to allow it depress me. Whenever I feel hungry, I take a walk to any ‘mama put’ around the area to eat and people keep starring at me. “God, I must be really ugly for people to stare at me whenever they see me,” I murmured. But whenever I remember the words of my mother, I smile.

It was one of those days when I went to buy beans that I met this lady, Blessing. I was on my way home after buying my beans and bread when this young lady who was not looking my way suddenly opened her car door and the beans poured on the ground. “Oh, I am very sorry. I wasn’t looking. I hope I didn’t hurt you,” she stressed. I starred at her for some seconds and said, “I was not looking too, you didn’t hurt me. However my beans poured on the ground and I bought it with the last money I had,” I said. “I am so sorry. Please let me go and buy another beans for you,” she begged. “Don’t worry, I will manage somehow”, I emphasized. But when she insisted, I obliged. After buying the beans for me, she dropped me at the front of my compound. Before driving off, she introduced herself as Blessing. “By the way, my name is Blessing and I live around,” she said. “My name is Benjamin,” I replied.

About a week later, I was sitting outside the house when Blessing came. “Hello Benjamin, I was in your neighbourhood so I decided to check up on you,” she said. “Thanks so much. I really appreciate,” I said. We talked for about two hours before she left. Nevertheless, she promised to be back the next day and she kept to her promise. When she came she revealed that she was the marketing manager of a plastic making company and that she lives about two streets away from me; while I had to tell her fabricated stories about myself. I told her that I am a graduate of Business Administration and I have been searching for a job for almost two years without any hope in sight. She asked me if I have been applying for jobs and I said yes but no company has called me for an interview.

She asked for my resume so that she could give it to some of her friends and contacts. Luckily, I had a copy of the ‘fake’ one I had prepared. She looked at it and said, “I am impressed. You graduated with a 2.1 but you have no work experience yet. But don’t worry, I will make copies and give to my friends. I just pray one of them can help out,” she promised. “If you can do this for me, I will be eternally grateful,” I stressed.
Surprisingly, she started looking for job vacancies for me both in newspapers and online. Whenever she sees any job that is related to my field she made sure I apply. For online applications, she comes with her laptop and modem to my house at weekends so that we could do it together. Some weeks later, I noticed that every Saturday Blessing prepares delicious meals and bring to my house since I don’t have a stove. And I tell you, she is not only a good cook, she is also well domesticated.

About two weeks later, she bought a small stove, pots and other cooking utensils and started cooking at my place. Some weeks later, she bought a small television set, handset and other little things that will make me feel comfortable. She also bought me new set of clothes because according to her she wants me to look good and presentable and also get ready in case I am called upon for any job interview. I later got a job as an Administrative Assistant in a one-man business. Although the pay was not much, Blessing encouraged me to start from there instead of remaining idle and I heeded to her advice. This really touched my soul. At this point, I had falling in love with her but I didn’t want to rush things.

I knew Blessing liked me a lot but I was uncertain if she was in love with me. On my own part, I knew deep down within me that I had found a wife in Blessing. However, to be sure she was also in love with me, one Saturday evening I said to her, “Blessing, I know that you have been a good friend and I really appreciate that. But I want to know why you keep being nice and supportive,” I said. She affectionately held my hands, looked me straight in the eyes and said, “Benjamin, please don’t tell me that you have not noticed that I am in love with you. At first, all I wanted to be was just a friend but I discovered that along the way, I fell in love with you.

I know you have never asked me out but the truth is that everything I do; I do for the sake of love. You are my prince charming, you have captured my heart and I love you very much. I believe you will soon get a better paying job soon and we will be very happy together,” she assured. Then she asked me, “Benjamin do you love me too?” I smiled, gave her a peck on the cheek and confessed to her that I love her very much too. “Blessing, I love and adore you very much. You are the queen of my heart. Thank you for being a true friend and I pray everything works out well for us,” I emphasised.

Totally sure of what we felt for each other, I decided to take the bold step to propose to her three weeks later. Hence, I asked Larry’s wife to get me a beautiful diamond engagement ring. While we were relaxing one fateful Sunday evening, I asked Blessing to be my wife. I went on bended knees and pleaded, “Blessing, please marry me and make my joy complete.” While she was still trying to make up her mind, I quickly slipped the beautiful diamond ring into her finger and then waited for her to give me her response. With tears in her eyes and shaky voice, Blessing said, “Of course, I will marry you and make your joy complete. Wow! The ring is beautiful, thank you my prince charming,” she enthused.

Since I have found my wife, I didn’t want to waste anymore time so I told her, our traditional wedding would take place within three months, exactly on my birthday. Although she agreed, I noticed that she was a bit worried. Her worry was that we didn’t have enough money to plan the kind of wedding she would have wanted, especially for the fact that I just got a job. But I promised her everything was going to work out fine.
I knew I cannot perform my traditional wedding at Ajegunle so I had to device a means to convince her that it should take place at my uncle’s place at VGC but the truth was that I wanted it to hold in my compound in VGC. It took time to convince Blessing and her family but thank God they eventually agreed. I lied to them that my uncle will make buses available for Blessing’s family members, friends, loved ones and colleagues to enable them attend the wedding with ease and so I had to make sure everything was in place.

I left Ajegunle a day to our traditional wedding, to ensure everything was ready as I was so excited that I was finally getting married to the woman who truly loved me. The next day, Blessing and her family entered into the compound and saw the calibre of people within the premises. Things almost got out of hand when I introduced Blessing to my exquisitely dressed parents and siblings. “Hello darling, please come let me introduce you to some important people in my life. Meet my wonderful parents and siblings,” I said.
Immediately, I recognised that she was a bit shocked but she managed to exchange pleasantries with them. She also noticed that the wedding card we printed was totally different from the one people were holding and as if that was not enough shock already, Blessing became furious when some of my staff came to congratulate me calling me CEO.

At this point, she called me aside and pleaded with me to tell her what was going on. She threatened to call off the wedding if I don’t tell her the truth about my identity. After I had finished telling her the truth about me, she shook her head and said, I am sorry Benjamin but there won’t be a wedding. Crying, she revealed to me that she was once involved with a rich young man but his family refused them getting married just because she came from a poor background. As such that incident made her vow that she was going to get married to a man who was in her class so that they would start from the scratch together and nobody would call her a gold digger. When I told her my reasons for acting like a poor man, she insisted that I would have opened up to her after proposing to her and allow her to decide if she was still going to marry me or not. “Blessing it is not that easy. I was afraid you were going to leave me. I am sorry I should have told you the truth. Please forgive,” I pleaded.

When I saw that she was not willing to forgive me and the wedding was supposed to have started about 30 minutes earlier and guests were waiting anxiously, I had to call my parents to intervene. Blessing angrily told them that the wedding should be called off since I lied about my true identity to her. For more than an hour, our wedding was put on hold because Blessing refused to change her mind. My mother held her close to her bosom and had a mother and daughter talk with her. And thank God, she was able to convince her that I pretended to be poor just to find true love because of what I had gone through in the hands of young women. She also added that I truly loved, adored and cared for her.

Finally, she assured Blessing that she was welcomed into our family and pleaded with her to find a place in her heart to forgive me for deceiving her if she truly loved me and make me happy. Minutes later, Blessing told me, “There will be a wedding and I promise to make you happy.” She however made me promise that I will never hide anything from her again and I promised her. Our traditional wedding held in grand style and everyone, especially my parents, were so excited. Weeks later, we had our registry wedding and held a low-key reception in our house.

Today we are so happy together and we love each other dearly. My whole family loves her so much because she has indeed made me a very happy man.
Some of my female friends still come to my office to see if they can still extort money and gifts from me but I proudly flaunt my wedding band and inform them that I am happily married to one of the most beautiful and wonderful women alive. We have been married for six months and she is three months pregnant. All I pray for now is that none of our children should look like me because it will be a disaster.

‘My fiancée rejected me at the altar on our wedding day’

‘My fiancée rejected me at the altar on our wedding day’

 

 

EXCITEMENT AS NSUKKA CELEBRATES NEW BISHOP

By Emmanuel Nzomiwu/Enugu
Speaking on the preparations for the ordination and installation of the new bishop slated for Thursday July 4, Nwodo said immediately after they got the announcement of his appointment, the priests of the Diocese converged to formally establish the ordination and installation, general committees and sub-committees.
According to the two-time Minister, these committees have since sprung to action, and have met for about three times since the inception in April this year.
Beyond the planning for successful ordination and installation programmes, come July 4, 2013, he said, they were overseeing the renovation of residences for the new bishop and the Bishop Emeritus, which made their target budget well over N300 million.
“The Finance Committee has been saddled with the responsibility of raising funds for these events. However, in keeping with Igbo proverbial expression that beauty starts at home, the General Committee has constantly tasked itself in this regard. The members of this General Committee have donated generously. We have made extensive trips to meet with some governors who have given their commitment to help us.
“We have reached out to Nsukka people living in different parts of our country to respond to this call. Several luncheons have been planned in this regard. For instance, we have lined up luncheons at different locations: on June 16, one will hold at Nsukka; on June 20, there will be one at Abuja; on June 22, there will be another at Port Harcourt; and on June 23, we will have another in Lagos,” Nwodo said.
He beckoned on all Nsukka people to respond to this call, irrespective of their political, social and religious differences, saying that they expected them to donate generously to this project that has brought most of them together.
Nwodo noted that the new bishop is an international figure, having lived in Rome for two decades, adding that he has made amazing contact with friends and colleagues who would certainly be here (in Nsukka) for his ordination and installation. He disclosed that the consecrating Prelate would be His Eminence, John Cardinal Onaiyekan, the Archbishop of Nsukka, while they were expecting about 50 bishops from the Conference of Nigerian Bishops and probably, over 1,000 priests and other religious people from Nsukka Diocese and beyond.
He said they were also expecting some ministers, senators, governors, commissioners, members of the House of Assembly, local government chairmen, councillors, eminent indigenes of Nsukka and about 5,000 lay faithful of Nsukka Diocese and beyond. He described the ordination and installation ceremony that would hold at St. Theresa’s Cathedral Nsukka, as an event no one should miss.

WHY I CAN NEVER DATE MY CLASSMATE

WHY I CAN NEVER DATE MY CLASSMATE
BY DENISE PALMER

The last on earth i can do is date a student, let alone, my classmate. I school in one of Nigeria Universities and ever since i got admitted i have been asked out by more than 50 students. But the fact is, i never gave any on them chance. One of my friends told me that her grades were really affected by the fact that she was dating a classmate.I would therefore like to get your opinion on this. I interviewed some people on this matter and this were the responses i got.

Membership Level: Silver    Total Points: 517
I personally do not advocate for classmates to date not even for the grades but simply because i want breathing space. If you have a boyfriend in the same class as you there will always be issues between the two of you especially if your partner is the possessive type. More so When it comes to the opposite sex plus others think that once you say yes then you are fully and completely theirs. People should understand that simply because you have found love in each other, the world doesn't stop rotating and therefore i won't shun my friends for you. Tell your friend that she already has a solution in her hands but she is only too scared to even think of it.

Membership Level: Gold    Total Points: 1631
I usually wonder to myself how classmates even manage to date. It's no wonder it affect ones' grades. I imagine that a person will not ask nor answer any questions in class so that they don't appear stupid in their lovers eyes. The 'love birds' will not have sufficient time to study because they want to spend time together during their free time. After classes are over, instead of thinking of the day's lessons, on is busy wishing that tomorrow comes so that he/she can meet their love.

Membership Level: Bronze    Total Points: 22
It depends it which kind of a date i don't see any harm of dating a class mate however this depends on the material talk of the date i personally date my classmate severally but for only one purpose education discussion if the date is for romantic purpose then it is not advisable

That is a very dangerous thing somebody can do.Think of somebody else but not your classmate.I have experienced this and trust me, they are extremely tempting yes, but take care!
Babygal Loyce
Membership Level: Silver    Total Points: 803
I HAVE NOT IMAGINED DATING MY CLASSMATE. THESE RELATIONSHIPS NORMALLY DON'T LAST. YOU WILL GET BORED OF SEEING YOUR PARTNER FROM MONDAYS TO MONDAYS. THESE RELATIONSHIP DON'T GIVE ONE FREEDOM. IT MAKES PEOPLE TO SPEND MOST OF THEIR TIME TOGETHER AND THIS COULD LEAD TO FAILURE IN CLASS DUE TO LACK OF ATTENTION.
Brendah aroko
Membership Level: Gold    Total Points: 4683
I personally believe that this kind of a relationship will be faced by many challenges and therefore will not be worth it in the long run.They will feel ridiculed by other class members and they might shy away from class. They might also exchange glance or even pass note to each other during lecturers which is very disruptive not only to them but also those sitting around them.
nimostarr
Membership Level: Silver    Total Points: 213
i cannot say that it is really wrong to date a classmate but i would highly discourage it. it has more cons than pros. the only advantage i can think of is the fact that you get to see your sweetheart often but that's as far as it goes. first comes the divided attention, the concentration that you would otherwise put in your books is now divided and part of it is on your girl/boyfriend. hence the bad grades. you are always concerned about what your partner is doing and who he or she is talking to. furthermore, the monotony leads to boredom between partners, the small fights crop up, then the painful breakup with a person you will see daily for the rest of your school life. plus the awkward moments thereafter. now, will all these things going on, its only obvious that ones grades take a drastic fall. simply, do nat date a classmate.
Liz The Totalitarian
Membership Level: Silver    Total Points: 518
Don't you think that there are many marriages whose origin is the in class? the other thing is that these marriages are very successful due to the fact that they are built on trust because there is no such thing as raising false alarm when one of the partners is in the company of other people.
jewel 92
Membership Level: Bronze    Total Points: 15
i think it is a very tricky situation because the cons are very many, on the other hand not all classmate relationships end up making ones grades bad. It depends on how the two involved parties handle themselves. If they can manage to keep their love life out of the classroom well and good but if they can't then they should not try it out in the first place. Otherwise your friends grades may be dropping because she cannot be able to separate the two; her study life and her love life.
njeri moni
Membership Level: Gold    Total Points: 1692
At this point education is very essential and you should consider your education first so,if you think that by breaking up with him will make you have good grades then its better to go for it.Otherwise there is nothing wrong with dating a classmate as long as you respect and love each other.
pinnie
Membership Level: Bronze    Total Points: 65
its really hard and am talking out of experience coz i once tried and it really couldnt work........so just forget about it
mary19
Membership Level: Bronze    Total Points: 25
to be frank,i tend to conquer with my fellows that this kind of a relationship is not the best.you may not concentrate on what brought you to school.i tend to think that this is the reason why most high schools have girls only and others boys only.like in a case where one is frustrated,surely your concentration is taken away and your esteem may be affected in some way.
Bmwai
Membership Level: Bronze    Total Points: 18
Personally, I don't see anything wrong with dating a classmate though its a very tricky situation that requires a lot of maturity since that means you will have to spend a lot of time together in a fomal place. This should therefore be done in great caution. Both should therefore learn to carry themselves in an acceptable way by avoiding public displays of affection and exposiing their love life too much in public. 

As for me, Diane, Dating a classmate will not only drop your grade but will give you less security and less opportunity. it is simply risky and not advisable.